last week i dreamt that avram had disappeared but i didn't know whether to be worried since i kept thinking he'd come back. then a slick-looking old woman showed up at my house, and i let her in even though she made me nervous. she pulled out a tube-ish package and began unrolling what looked like a person's skin, dried up and suit-like. she told me it was avram. in the dream i cried but upon waking up frantic and disturbed i was surprised i didn't puke.

last night i dreamt that my family was moving, and while they were doing so, their house caught on fire. i was trying to help them retrieve everything, but it wasn't just current household objects we were trying to rescue--long-gone dogs and cats, like snuffles, snoodles, andre, diesel and purr; my old bird sam; pieces of furniture i haven't seen since i was a little kid; dishes from my grandparents' house; clothes i remember sharing with my cousins. i started to get frustrated with my parents for wanting to save so much *stuff* and worried we'd all die in the fire. the house was filling up with smoke and i could barely breathe, so i grabbed my sister. instead of being a teenager though, she was about 8. i picked her up and carried her down this big staircase, and at one point, i looked at her, and her face was her face when she was about 5. she looked up at me and said "i love you" very sweetly and it made me cry, such that i couldn't see my way out of the smoke and, as i woke up, was aware that everything i had tried carrying to safety was already gone.